getting help

Some of your friends will have very serious problems on their hands—problems that make them feel afraid, ashamed, desperate, or overwhelmed. To help them, you may have to take charge. Sometimes you can "carry" a friend through a difficult time. But often, the problem is more than you can deal with alone.

In these cases, you and your friend should tell someone else what's going on. Try to persuade your friend to seek help from a trusted adult, perhaps a teacher or someone who works in the health care profession. Remind your friend that many clinics and hotlines offer free services—and allow people to remain anonymous. Doctors can't tell anyone what you've told them (not even your parents!) unless you're planning to commit a crime or commit suicide.

Keep in mind that even if you want to be the very best friend you can be, some of your friends' problems will be too large for you to handle—and it's better for them to see someone who is trained to help.